This is something I wrote for The Star last week. I don’t know if it ever saw print, but in any case, here it is in it’s entirety. As always, comments are more than welcome.

TWO CENTS’ FROM AN ORDINARY MALAYSIAN
by: Ganaesh Devaraj

This is just a humble comment from an ordinary Malaysian. I am not a politician, nor do I aspire to be one. I am not a political enthusiast, and intellectual discussions about the intricacies of politics in this country will only serve to confuse me further. But I felt that I had to write this piece, even though it might appear simplistic in the end. It’s something that I feel I have to do, as a Malaysian and as someone who loves and values peace.

I am scared, and I don’t think I have ever been this scared my entire life. I have done some bad things in the past, but thankfully, they remain within the realms of mistakes that people are bound to make in their lifetimes. But this fear, the fear that I have within me now, is of something that I have no control of. I can only stand and watch while events unfold, and see the consequences of what a few of my fellow countrymen are doing, not out of rational thought, but out of ignorance and stupidity.

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This is an article that I wrote for my university newspaper/newsletter. It started with a random sentence, and become a 700-word-plus article 45 minutes later. I decided to post it here because I thought it would be a tribute of sorts, considering that the 31st of this month is Independence Day, and all that. It also seemed like an article that needed feedback from people, namely my dear readers that visit this blog.

AN IDENTITY CRISIS? REALLY?

by Ganaesh A/L Devaraj

I am not an Indian. A pretty bold statement, don’t you think? Imagine the problems I would face if I ever decided to say it out loud, to a crowd of Indians, no less. Imagine the stigma, the insults. Sometimes, the temptation to just get up on stage and shout it out is so great that I have to silently pinch myself to snap back to reality. I could be branded as someone who thinks he’s too good for his own race. My mother once told me to stop acting like a “black-assed white man”. Rest assured, I’m not here to offend anybody, merely to point out an element which is already prevalent in our society. So, back to the statement. Is it racist? Am I denying my cultural identity by saying such a statement?

When I was growing up, my best friend was a Malay boy. My neighbours were Chinese, and my babysitter was Indian. Her son married a Malay woman. I usually spent my weekends playing at my friend’s house. He was Chinese. I had friends from all walks of life, and from all different races. Back then, it wasn’t really a big deal. Of course, you could put it down as childish ignorance, but let me ask you something. If it wasn’t a big deal then, why is it a matter of life and death now?

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I came down today to find my parents watching the final 40-minutes-or-so of a (supposedly) new Tamil movie they were showing on Astro Vaanavil. The main character was some scrawny-looking guy who doesn’t seem to have an affinity for shaving. The scene was at a restaurant where he and his close friend were in a drunken stupor, disturbing and generally pissing off people. I didn’t need to wait long to find out why: his girlfriend dumped him. Boo-frickin’-hoo. I see, so that would warrant getting piss-drunk and making other people’s lives a living hell. He then proceeded to climb up to the roof of a building and shouting to the whole world that he was going to have his brain matter splattered all over the floor because he putus cinta.

I’m going, “What the hell la?”

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