Shit. I think I’m getting that feeling again. That sick feeling at the bottom of the stomach, that strange sensation you feel, as if you’re going to throw up, but can’t. You just want to somehow, because it’ll make you feel relieved, but it just would not happen, short of sticking your fingers into your mouth. and forcing yourself to throw up. It seems I have a strange fixation with throwing up, but that is what comes to mind when this sick feeling comes.
That’s funny. I haven’t felt like this in a while.
***
I seem to be going through life half-awake these past few days. The basic action of going to classes is something that I’m glad to say has become a habit, but it feels so hollow sometimes. Sitting at the back of the class, alternating between listening to the lecture and doodling. It’s not fulfilling at all. I look at the others. Some of them are so attentive that I sometimes envy them. To devote such an amount of focused, undivided attention at will is something that is just beyond me.
I can’t go on living like this.
***
Don’t mind me. It’s just a phase.
I hope.
